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http://fishskb.co.uk/index.php?route=product/category&path=146

is this the worst joke ever??

 
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seaweed
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 4:30 pm    Post subject: is this the worst joke ever?? Reply with quote

Julius Caesar is addressing the Roman crowd. "Friends Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow I take our gloriousarmy to conquer Northern Europe and I shall start with France. We shall kill many Gauls and return victorious."

The crowd are up on their feet "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail the mighty Caesar"

Brutus turns to his mate and says " He doesn't half talk some shi*e eh? He couldn't fight his way out of a wet parchment bag.

Six months later, Caesar comes back having conquered France and addresses the crowd in the Coliseum. " Friends, Romans and Countrymen, I have returned from our campaign in France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gauls".

The crowd are up on their feet again. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar".

Brutus once again turns to his mate "I'm sick of his bullsh*t, I'm off to France to check this out."

Brutus sets of for France and three weeks later he comes back to Rome.

Caesar is addressing the public in the Coliseum again

"Friends, Romans and Countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we are going to sort those b*stards out"

The crowd are up on their feet."Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar"

Brutus jumps up and shouts, "Caesar, you are a liar. You told us that you had killed 50,000 Gauls in France but I've been there to check it out and you only killed 25,000!!!!"

The crowd are stunned and all sit down in silence. Caesar gets up and looks slowly round the Coliseum then across at Brutus and says, "Brutus, you are forgetting one thing-

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.......Away Gauls count double in Europe."
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Colin M Boyd
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

For Sale,
French assault rifle.
Dropped only once.
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fredaevans
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q: What is the French battle flag?
A: It is three white fleur-de-lies on a white background.

Google 'french military victories' and click the 'I'm feeling luck button.
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Nicepix
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

fredaevans wrote:
Q: What is the French battle flag?
A: It is three white fleur-de-lies on a white background.

Google 'french military victories' and click the 'I'm feeling luck button.


Didn't take long to find this...

Quote:
On May 28 1754, Washington’s forces surprised a group of French and Indians, inflicted heavy casualties and took a number of captives. The colonial forces then hastily constructed the aptly named Fort Necessity, in the Great Meadows not far from Fort Duquesne.

On July 3, the French forces struck back. After a day-long battle — the first of the French and Indian War — Washington signed terms of surrender and returned with his defeated men to Virginia. The French commander treated his opponents leniently in the hope of avoiding a broader conflict


So Washington held out for a whole day before surrendering Rolling Eyes Who's the Burger eating surrender monkeys now, eh?

Laughing Laughing Laughing
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anglersvoice
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OUCH..
you are baaaaaddd Clive..
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Nicepix
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

anglersvoice wrote:
OUCH..
you are baaaaaddd Clive..


It took them just over a month to construct a fort that they surrendered after one day's fighting. I bet the contractors got paid though. Shades of Haliburton? Laughing
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anglersvoice
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nicepix wrote:
anglersvoice wrote:
OUCH..
you are baaaaaddd Clive..


It took them just over a month to construct a fort that they surrendered after one day's fighting. I bet the contractors got paid though. Shades of Haliburton? Laughing


mmmmm now who do we know that worked there...

(whistling nonchalently) Cool
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Chris
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rolling Eyes
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fredaevans
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.nps.gov/fone/historyculture/index.htm

Well, lets get the whole story out. At that time the 'American's and British' were still good buddies ... but not for long.

"The Fort Necessity Story
The confrontation at Fort Necessity in the summer of 1754 was the prelude to the war fought by England and France for control of the North American continent. The struggle was known in North America as the French and Indian War and spread around the world as the Seven Years' War. It ended in 1763 with the removal of French power from North America and India. The action at Fort Necessity was also the first major event in the military career of George Washington. It was the only time he ever surrendered to an enemy."

He undertook to fortify his position at the Great Meadows. During the last two days of May and the first three days of June, he built a circular palisaded fort, which he called Fort Necessity.## Foot note: a circular palisade fort is just a circle of of logs stuck end down in the ground with firing knotches carved into the logs.

He learned that Joshua Fry died at Will Creek on May 31. Washington assumed command of the regiment and was promoted to colonel. (Washington had just been promoted to Lt. Colonel.)

The rest of the Virginia regiment arrived at the Great Meadows on June 9, along with supplies and nine small cannon called swivel guns. Washington's command now totaled 293 officers and men. He was reinforce several days later by about 100 men of Capt. James Mackay's independent Company of regular British troops from South Carolina. Washington's attempts to retain his Indian allies were not successful.

While the South Carolinians remained at the Great Meadows, Washington and his Virginians spent most of June opening a road from Fort Necessity to Gist's Plantation, a frontier settlement in the direction of the forks of the Ohio. Reports that a large force of French and Indians was advancing from Fort Duquesne, however, caused him to withdraw his men to the Great Meadows, where they arrived July 1.

The next day, they strengthened Fort Necessity by improving the trenches outside the stockade. On the morning of July 3, a force of about 600 French and 100 Indians approached the fort. After the French took up positions in the woods, Washington withdrew his men to the entrenchments. Rain fell throughout the day, flooding the marshy ground. Both sides suffered casualties, but the British losses were greater than French and Indian losses.
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Nicepix
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 2:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fred,
The French won. The beat you. Get over it man. Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy



p.s. Washington was lucky to surrender to such a gentleman. Many others through the years have not been granted safe passage particularly after murdering the enemy.

Quote:
On May 28 1754, Washington’s forces surprised a group of French and Indians, inflicted heavy casualties and took a number of captives. The colonial forces then hastily constructed the aptly named Fort Necessity, in the Great Meadows not far from Fort Duquesne.

On July 3, the French forces struck back. After a day-long battle — the first of the French and Indian War — Washington signed terms of surrender and returned with his defeated men to Virginia. The French commander treated his opponents leniently in the hope of avoiding a broader conflict

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